I have a lot of things I want to chat to you about, I also don’t really know where this is heading, like I have a list of blog posts I want to write, but I just (right now) don’t feel like talking to you about my favourite jewellerey, or some place I’ve been loving (although I do have a very very sick London post to share with you) but right now, at the precise time, I’m feeling pretty down and I couldn’t really think of a way to chat with you and let it out other then on here, were you have the option to continue reading should you so desire, whereas you can click off now if you want.
As I’m sure a lot of you are aware, I am in Year 11 at school, which means in 2 months times I have my GCSEs coming. These are probably the most important things i’ve done in my life so far, and across the nation 15 and 16 year olds are becoming increasingly more stressed out. To the point were we joke across social media and in real life about having “mental breakdowns” and crying at everything. But really is that a joke? At what point did it get to be like this, were a grade on a piece of paper literally is taking away almost everything I enjoy? To some of you who maybe don’t care as much you’re probably thinking so what, and part of me wants to agree with you, but after spending all of last week on the verge of tears and boarderline hysterical at pretty much everything I realise that now it is becoming ridiculous. I want to look back on this year and be like woah, 2016 was one crazy year and I’m proud of what I’ve done. I want to look back and remember it as being happy, and being ‘carefree’ and maybe the end of the year will be, but right now my life quite literally, sucks.
I hate putting across a negative image, and I know life isn’t all about exams and I fully appreciate that, and the support, both online and offline is incredible. The image I usually try to bring across through my little corner of the internet isn’t every anything other than attempts to be positive, and be something I can watch back and remember good times, not bad ones. But this whole ‘Beauty Spectrum’ thing we have going on here wouldn’t be 100% honest if I wasn’t sharing the other side with you too, because not everyone can be happy all of the time, it’s not possible. Yes I’ve had a lovely day out today with my friends, and yes I had an amazing weekend in London last week, but that doesn’t stop the fact that sometimes not everything is being shared with you guys, it’s not physically possible, and even if it was I wouldn’t want it to be, because the image I want to reflect is “good vibes only” and right now it’s not. I hope you all understand and appriciate that over the next few weeks and 2/3 months my YouTube channel is going to have to take a little bit of a step back, I’m still going to be uploading videos twice a week, but if my content and my ‘technical ability’ drop a little bit, please understand and just bare with me because currently this whole thing is (and will always be) a work in progress.
I don’t really know the meaning behind this blog post, other then the fact that I had a lot to say and not really a lot of time to say it, so I’ve written this pretty quickly at half 11 on a Saturday night when I need to be editing tomorrow’s vlog, but it’s just how I’m feeling right now, as I’m sure a lot of you understand. Please do check my channel tomorrow for the vlog going up in the morning, if you’re in year 11 too then I hope you’re doing okay, and everything’s going fine.
Thank you all for reading this and I’ll be back with a regular blogpost hopefully throughout the week at some point
Much love for you, always.
Have a cute photo of Brighton Beach to end more positively lol